34 Comments
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Charlotte's avatar

Wow -- what a pleasure to be reading your work, and I think Hinge was very smart in sponsoring you since I now see it in a whole new light.

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Valerie's avatar

💕🥹 so glad to hear that!! thank you for reading Charlotte <3

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Mithila's avatar

Absolute amazing, the part wheee you wrote ‘I choose to see what’s in front of me here and now, knowing that the past will never love me as much as my future does’ was such a reality check. Will stay with me

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Valerie's avatar

thank you 💕i’m so glad

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makenna's avatar

This was just what I needed to read. I've been hung up on some boy from a year and a half ago, and maybe it's because nothing else has really happened since then, but I do feel hopeless and I wish I could stop thinking about the idea of it. I did get a good self discovery journey after, so the girl I was back then is completely different from me now, so we wouldn't even work out if I tried it again. I just can't get it out of my head?? Ugh so frustrating

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Valerie's avatar

you can do it i believe in you <3 and thank you for sharing

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dellykandreea's avatar

“If I were to line up every guy I never dated in a row and greet them with reverence and empathy, I’d get to the end of the line just to see a shadow lurking: my own unwillingness to show up.” This one!! We are agents of our avoidance, and authenticity requires vulnerability. Unconsciously, we choose those who will give us the perfect opportunity to project our shadow. “He’s too inconsistent” -> Where in your life does your inconsistency bother you? But doing that work - ugh, ew - it’s so much more fun building that romance novel instead.

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Valerie's avatar

the dilemma of it all! thank you for reading 🩵

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Femcel's avatar

This was so wonderful to read. You’re such a great writer and the way you talk about a missed connection as mythology is so real. I’m exploring something soon on my page so this was some nice synchronicity to experience on a Tuesday morning. And I love that Hinge is supporting writers!

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Valerie's avatar

thank you so much for reading!

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Caroline Beuley's avatar

Put the vest in uninvested had me DYING. Loved this Valerie.

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Valerie's avatar

hahaha thank you Caroline <3 i appreciate you

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Ananya's avatar

Ty for this + smart move from Hinge. This feels way more impactful than any dating app subway ad I’ve seen.

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Valerie's avatar

thank you Ananya <3

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peach skies's avatar

wow it’s like you’re inside my brain

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Valerie's avatar

i love living there

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Josh's avatar

Hate to bring sex into this but I will anyway, do you think men and woman do this equally? Buy this, I mean linger and fantasize about those they didn't date.

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Valerie's avatar

great question! sex is certainly a determining factor for me. as in, the greater it is, the longer i’ll be pondering on the relationship and its potential. i reckon it’s relatively the same for men and women, no?

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Josh's avatar

I suppose :)

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Style Analytics's avatar

Love this!!

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Valerie's avatar

💘💘

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Elise Gioia's avatar

Ooooof this one hits hard

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Valerie's avatar

🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

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Alesia's avatar

Hinge was so smart for sponsoring this! This is a great piece as someone who navigates Hinge as well I must confess there’s something so alluring in all these failed talking stages, guys I never dated, people I never got to meet properly… I romanticise my unsuccessful attempts at love way more too

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emily north's avatar

INCFRDIBLE

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kate's avatar

oh love love love this. your words are so beautiful & i resonated with so much. thank you for sharing your gift with the world 💜

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Jane Doe's avatar

I needed this. In ways I cannot easily articulate and through emotions I have not yet come to terms with. My soul ached for this dawning. Thank you

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Firnita's avatar

such a fun piece to read! i’m also in a romance adventure era and somehow parts of the stories resonates with mine. feels like it’s a collective canon event lol (talking about the reconnection with an old crush from school). carry on writing!

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