Felt this to my literal core. When did we go from embracing ourselves to grappling with this lifelong mission of achieving some distant version of perfection?? What even makes our “imperfections,” imperfect? You write about the perpetual, never-ending nature of feeling inferior so so well. There’s so much profit to be gained from hating ourselves. It also makes me think about the, “I do it for myself,” narrative and what we project onto a much younger audience. So thoughtful and well written :)
“Who’s profiting from my misery?” is such a great question. It’s what I’ve been asking myself in someway recently, although not in those words. I’ll be asking myself all the time. I have been thinking about it in terms of addiction: big alcohol and social media companies. Everyone wants to drink less and spend less time online and love the way we look but it’s just so hard to do, and then we are made to feel like it’s our fault we can’t do it: “drink responsibly” or “screen time limits” or “self care” - its just packaged neatly to put the onus back onto us when really we just live in one big marketing activation.
i’m obsessed with writing about the never-ending pursuit of beauty and you captured it so well 😮💨 on the surface it feels light and fun and flirty but at its core it’s a dangerous game
I told my friend the other day there's never a day that I love the way I look. I may like, but never love. Sometimes all you need is validation. This was truly written for the soul.
I felt this to the core. The older I get, the more hate I feel for myself. Where once I was just odd looking and chubby, now I am chasing youth on top of that. I also been thinking how being single in a world made for couples only enhances this hatred as I am now competing with 20 year olds for love.
Does it ever end? And can we have it all if we choose not to partake in this self-loathing structure?
“I don’t think my behavior is purely about chasing beauty or thinness anymore; it’s morphed into something more sinister, more abstract, and plain useless. It may just be about chasing adequacy” i choked up 😮💨 thank you for writing this ❤️
Wow, this is truly one of the most amazing reads I can remember in a long time! I can’t relate to everything but I feel the themes so deeply, that never-ending quest to feel good about myself, something I’ve felt in various ways including appearance throughout my life… I’m going to have to read this one again! 💖
It seems like it's easier to love yourself and your perceived flaws when you love as many things as you possibly can-- as wisely as you can, and focus as much as you can on what you love, and whatever makes you feel loved. In this way you are training your brain to feel good more often, for example I love writing goofy things.. so dis iz jut sum reccomandadd tings dat i ben pacticing my Slavik sista.~ Ow owwww!~
What a great essay. You expressed everything that women around the world have been feeling. If only this one injection, this one drink, this makeup, this workout would make us look better. And yet we still wouldn't be happy with out appearance. Self-hatred really sums it up.
Self hatred is the absence of self acceptance, our society has never taught us how to embrace and learn about ourselves but to compare and live in a constant state of confusion with ourselves. The only cure to stop following the social protocols and the lack of self respect manifested in mental, emotional and physical illness appears when we understand is about loving ourselves ( ultimately dedicating time and effort to know our inner self) Good reflection!
couldn’t agree more! the more i direct my energy outward not inward, the better i feel about the whole thing (and myself). it’s just hard sometimes… thank you Jen 🤍
Felt this to my literal core. When did we go from embracing ourselves to grappling with this lifelong mission of achieving some distant version of perfection?? What even makes our “imperfections,” imperfect? You write about the perpetual, never-ending nature of feeling inferior so so well. There’s so much profit to be gained from hating ourselves. It also makes me think about the, “I do it for myself,” narrative and what we project onto a much younger audience. So thoughtful and well written :)
1. Ouch
2. I’m sorry
3. Damn. This is so well written and I love the way you slice through to the truth in such unique ways.
4. “I need a lobotomy at Claire’s”. iconic.
I relate so much to the point I thought you were describing my life
“Who’s profiting from my misery?” is such a great question. It’s what I’ve been asking myself in someway recently, although not in those words. I’ll be asking myself all the time. I have been thinking about it in terms of addiction: big alcohol and social media companies. Everyone wants to drink less and spend less time online and love the way we look but it’s just so hard to do, and then we are made to feel like it’s our fault we can’t do it: “drink responsibly” or “screen time limits” or “self care” - its just packaged neatly to put the onus back onto us when really we just live in one big marketing activation.
i’m obsessed with writing about the never-ending pursuit of beauty and you captured it so well 😮💨 on the surface it feels light and fun and flirty but at its core it’s a dangerous game
I told my friend the other day there's never a day that I love the way I look. I may like, but never love. Sometimes all you need is validation. This was truly written for the soul.
I commented and then realized it was insensitive and I’m not the intended audience so I deleted my comment. I’m sorry.
This is so spot on I need to go take a nap.
I felt this to the core. The older I get, the more hate I feel for myself. Where once I was just odd looking and chubby, now I am chasing youth on top of that. I also been thinking how being single in a world made for couples only enhances this hatred as I am now competing with 20 year olds for love.
Does it ever end? And can we have it all if we choose not to partake in this self-loathing structure?
this is so random but i love the collages she makes for all these posts! does anyone know what kind of app/software one can use to make them? :0
hi! you can address me in first person – i read my comments 😄 i use Photoshop and Figma
“I don’t think my behavior is purely about chasing beauty or thinness anymore; it’s morphed into something more sinister, more abstract, and plain useless. It may just be about chasing adequacy” i choked up 😮💨 thank you for writing this ❤️
thank you for reading 🤍🤍
Wow, this is truly one of the most amazing reads I can remember in a long time! I can’t relate to everything but I feel the themes so deeply, that never-ending quest to feel good about myself, something I’ve felt in various ways including appearance throughout my life… I’m going to have to read this one again! 💖
thank you so much ❤️
Incredible writing. ✨
thank you so much ❤️
It seems like it's easier to love yourself and your perceived flaws when you love as many things as you possibly can-- as wisely as you can, and focus as much as you can on what you love, and whatever makes you feel loved. In this way you are training your brain to feel good more often, for example I love writing goofy things.. so dis iz jut sum reccomandadd tings dat i ben pacticing my Slavik sista.~ Ow owwww!~
!!! what a beautiful notion. from one slavic heart to another ah <3
What a great essay. You expressed everything that women around the world have been feeling. If only this one injection, this one drink, this makeup, this workout would make us look better. And yet we still wouldn't be happy with out appearance. Self-hatred really sums it up.
it really does! thank you for reading Chanél ❤️
Self hatred is the absence of self acceptance, our society has never taught us how to embrace and learn about ourselves but to compare and live in a constant state of confusion with ourselves. The only cure to stop following the social protocols and the lack of self respect manifested in mental, emotional and physical illness appears when we understand is about loving ourselves ( ultimately dedicating time and effort to know our inner self) Good reflection!
couldn’t agree more! the more i direct my energy outward not inward, the better i feel about the whole thing (and myself). it’s just hard sometimes… thank you Jen 🤍
Thank you Valerie for sharing your voice with us unapologetically ✨