61 Comments

people on the internet tend to be self righteous and quick to judge. it's much more refreshing to see someone being honest and authentic to what it is being a human. we're all a little bit mean, weird, and not always "good". that's the fun of it, i guess - having something to learn, space to evolve, and enjoying the journey instead of just judging every step of the way. loved this piece, Valerie!

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thank you Larissa! love your balanced outlook 🙂‍↕️ i’m gonna need to remind myself of this more often <3

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such a beautiful and honest piece Valerie! thank you for sharing. i had a conversation about this yesterday and i feel very similar. i'd like to think i used to be a much nicer person with much more love for people. somewhere along the way i lost that and now i just kinda feel bitter and resentment towards humans in general. i don't know if you relate, but when i was younger, i was just more hopeful and kind. maybe we've been let down by the world a little too much? i miss being a good person, i resent myself for it to a point of no return. but i want to do good, and i would like to create at least a ripple of goodness in this world. i think i should open one of those spiritual-be-love-do-good kinda books again soon lol. sorry for the 'how can i make this more about me' comment...but it's nice to connect over these types of things.

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so relatable Jasmine!! this speaks volumes to me. i also miss being a good person, but im also inclined to believe we just might’ve gotten more self-critical rather that “worse” 🧍🏻‍♀️

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love this. love it. And related. The good news though is that we're not delusional. We're not running around calling ourselves empaths while being (sometimes) genuinely terrible people.

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thank you Carly ❤️ i too find solace in self-awareness - even if it's for nothing, i'd rather this than pretend to be a saint

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This hit home . Weirdly finding solace in this, I suppose it’s comforting that my actions aren’t that of some disgusting monster, just human at the end of the day :’’’/ ughhh life - like u said, conflict is terrifying and it’s all j a heavy burden to reason with . Thank u for good girl bad girl, this was a v fitting read for almost 4am

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ahh! i'm so glad i could accompany your late night <3 thank you for your comment, means a lot to me

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At least you own up to your flaws. Others are magnificently ignorant to theirs. Life is bliss for them, no matter what their actions have caused. Also, if you don’t mind me asking, how old are you? Reason I ask is cause you’re an excellent writer with a lot of wisdom. So am curious. Thanks.

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Thank you so much! That's a great perspective. You know, small steps and what not 😁 I've just turned 26 a couple months back.

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Oh that’s so young. You’re very wise for such a young girl. Good good.

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*young woman! Not girl.

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this is so beautiful! also we give sooo much grace to others for being kinda bad, kinda good, spinning around on our moral compasses, why can't we do the same sometimes? it's truthful!

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emma!! you’re so right. thank you 🤍

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This is incredible.

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thank you so much! 🩷

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Wow, what a read. "Goodness can very much be an August heatwave – you crave it in the middle of January when it’s dark and cold, but once you’re living in it, you’re just waiting for the whole thing to be over." This line is such poetry that it hit me straight in the gut. Thank you for finding words for a sticky feeling many of us have had for years.

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Samantha ❤️ this means the world to me, thank you

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I loved reading this piece so much! It touches on topics that we often hide from ourselves and others. Growing up is a blessing but in growing up I often find myself reflecting on the past, on things that I regret doing and saying. I wish there was a magic handbook that could teach us how to properly go about and live life, how to cultivate and preserve healthy relationships, how to build success, and how to be blissfully happy- but alas there is none. We can just learn day by day and try our very best to do better. Thank you for sharing such personal thoughts.

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totally agree Sofie ❤️ thank you for reading!!

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I definitely resonated with this one!

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So well written. Thank you for this insightful and honest reminder that we’re all imperfectly, messily, beautifully human 🙏🏻💙

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thank you so much 💖

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i love this and resonate with it so much. you took all my jumbled thoughts and feelings i couldn’t make sense of myself and put them into words in such a beautiful way

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brianna that’s so lovely to hear 🤍 thank you

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Thank you for your honesty Valerie. It's very refreshing and needed. Too much of 'how to spot a narcissist' and not enough of 'how not to be one'.

That's how we grow 🖤

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Angèle ❤️❤️ thank you so much

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A quarter of the way through I was absolutely already thinking of the Jemima Kirke quote. Beautiful read <3

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great minds, great minds 😌

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really great piece Valerie. I think a good companion book for this essay is 'How Should A Person Be?' by Sheila Heti. Sheila's character is really obsessed by that ideal of 'being good', but the book is a great exploration of what it actually means to 'be' good. Answer; no one knows!! We all just have to try our best to care for others and not hurt the world.

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i've been recommended this book before! thank you Michael, 100% agree and appreciate your comment :)

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This was SO real. And so exactly what I needed to hear when I’m fighting with my best friend and myself. A reminder to try to be a better person every day(no matter the reason) but also we must forgive ourselves for just being human.

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Ciara <3 i hope everything resolves between you two. i appreciate you!

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